Exams before pleasure or something like that
by Super Hurricane
Summary: Just a little interview piece that I originally made for the T2M Clan. May be funny, may be dumb, but I worked my butt off on it!


(This is simply a piece of work that I was asked to make for Taro M.D. Anyone who is not interested in a small fic that has no relevance to your lives, please press the back button now. .........Is that everyone? Good. Remember, I am not in possession of Love Hina, even though the show was canceled for no apparent reason. I don't own authors but I do own myself and all my weapons and special attacks. I may even delete this if it is flamed or mocked. Then maybe make something a little more original. Maybe.)  
  
(The story begins at a quiet clearing out in the woods, a docile, quiet place that could arouse most survivors to be-)  
  
"You're not convincing me, new boy." Tori Yuki Ichimura said, looking over a slightly worried teenager's shoulder at the monitor. The guy seemed a bit nervous because her chest was on his back, making it hard to concentrate. The two seemed to be on the top of a desolate tower in the middle of an inactive volcano, the fumes from geysers could cause even the most experienced author to sweat under pressure.  
  
"Ma'am, please. I have to focus. By the way, could you move your breasts off me?" the teen said, slightly distracted by the skin shown. Tori, on the other hand, chose that time to pull out a mallet.  
  
FWWWWAAAAP! "What did I do!?!" The teen known as Super Hurricane (SH) complained, rubbing his sore forehead where a bandage now laid. Tori grinned evilly, placing her mallet inside authorspace..  
  
"Never tell me what to do, new boy. Now, since you can't possibly take time to finish up this, I'll just give you a evaluation of your progress, before joining our ranks. Then give it to Taro-san." Tori said, folding her arms on her chest, after noticing SH's somewhat perverted stare (in which he was observing the popcorn machine/video screen in front of him). That earned him another bump on the head. "One, is the Paddles Torture." The screen lit up as a mini-movie played.  
  
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Flashback...  
  
In the neck of the forest was SH, who was at the moment bound and gagged to a tree. It was pitch-dark anyway, so even his sight wasn't good. But for some reason, he appeared docile, relaxed even. Fog rolled in, a lot of it covering the playing field. Two figures came out of it, holding paddles.  
  
"So, this is the guy we have to haze, eh? Doesn't look that tough to me." Haitani said, grasping his paddle.  
  
"Careful, these authors are known to be tricky." Shinati warned coming to the side of the right thigh.  
  
"Nah, he's going down." Haitani said, as he WHAPP-ed SH's butt. SH gave out a small whimper as his eyes turned green. A low growl came from his throat.  
  
"Prepare to suffer." SH hissed in a raspy tone, then broke free of his bonds. He started advancing towards them, a long sword forming in each hand. He licked the malice on his lips as he gave two swift strokes at them, releasing powerful wind blades that could only come from a master of destruction. A few seconds later, the clothes the two frightened characters were wearing exploded, their t-shirts resembled bikini tops, and their underwear looked like spaghetti thongs. "That is a special technique I gained from Joe Mello, Yugamu Tsurugi Ryu.However." He explained evilly, eyeing their clothes, "That was not what I expected." He snapped his fingers and their clothes reappeared on them. They gaped in fear, dropping their paddles.  
  
"Now, you did the thing all wrong. The butt was a low blow, so I'll show you the right way to beat me up." His watch glowed blue as he began to split apart like a cell, over and over, creating more of him by the second. After stopping at 60, he stopped the process, and the clones produced metal paddles from their baskets. He grinned as his own clones ran at him, full paddle. Then came the spanking of a lifetime. THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! THWAPP! X 6! The carnage lasted for five minutes, then the clones walked backwards to reveal a very bruised SH.  
  
"Now that." SH croaked, falling over from the massive bruises and pains shown by the numerous bandages on his body, said, "was a whooping. Ehhhh-" He fainted, dazed. His clones glowed and went back inside him, rejuvenating his fallen form.  
  
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"That by itself qualified, although we were annoyed you had to strip those two." Tori glared, annoyed at his behavior.  
  
"I wasn't even in control! Really! I'm sorry if I did it, I have problems with my dark half. Besides, I heal rather slowly." SH said, pointing to a few bandages left over on his legs and arms.  
  
"Well, anyways, the next test was a interview of twenty questions between you and Taro. The big guy said some interesting things to me about you." Tori yawned, knowing full well this guy might as well be an amateur, despite his ranking and writing experience.  
  
"Really? From the look of things, he was staring at the desk rather than listen to me." SH pointed out, a bit confused.  
  
"He was pretending to do that, you were too native to notice the truth. Roll film of 20 questions."  
  
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(Scene of SH and Taro M.D. in a enclosed room, with a table separating them. The only light is a lamp, and SH is connected to a lie detector. If he should lie, a valley of Tama-chans will attack with unbound cuteness and myuh him senseless.)  
  
T:"Are you qualified?"  
  
S:"I am uncertain if I am, but I have worked ahead in order to achieve maximum credibility for this special club."  
  
T: "If given an order, will you follow it?"  
  
S: "I am a soldier of action. I will listen, then follow through with complex detail given by the orderer."  
  
T: "How many fanfics have you made or attempted to make?"  
  
S: "Well, from my account there, I made about 16. But over the years, I've made about 120 uncompleted fanfics, due to my short-term Mind's Eye. It's still hard to maintain it for later chapters."  
  
T:"Have you ever hurt anyone with your powers?"  
  
S: "I am a docile person, the kind of guy who holds back on his true strength. People in the real world challenge me, but I can easily tell if they're worth my effort. I have the blood of a Cossack, but with the patience of a Frenchman."  
  
T: "Naru, Mutsumi or Motoko for Keitaro?"  
  
S: "Mutsumi, I believe is the best choice for him. Naru is reminds me of a certain Yukino, and my precious Motoko is too good for his quality."  
  
T: "How well noted are you on random acts of comedy?  
  
S: "Very well, since it's hard to focus, thus I end up making different scenes. Humor though isn't my best subject, though I try."  
  
T: "Have you any peculiar type of game system that you enjoy?"  
  
S: "I like non-complicated ones, few buttons yet decent handling/virus- protected."  
  
T: "Did you enjoy the paddle experience?"  
  
S: "There were paddles? No wonder why I was wrapped in stitches."  
  
T: "Why are you dressed that way?"  
  
S: "I have a thing for blue, but it doubles for speed and accuracy ratings when powered up. I even added a armor version in the design, which boosts high defensive power."  
  
T: "How do you take flamer's opinons?"  
  
S: "Without a hassle. I just look at them, grin, and cut them apart with a few slices."  
  
T: "How much of the LH Manga do you own?  
  
S: "Sad to say, I can't really get LH Manga since they aren't exactly rampant in Wisconsin."  
  
T: "How did you get involved with Love Hina stories?"  
  
S: "It was referred to me by Chromus. By his way of portraying Lady Motoko, I fell in love with her and her temper towards men. Of course, I'm a male too, but I was treated rather bad in youth by other males."  
  
T: "Can we trust you not to leave our organization/dishonor it with powergaming?"  
  
S: "Yep! I wouldn't fight the system, as I am a author through and through."  
  
T: "Do you swear a lot or a little in your fics?"  
  
S: "Neither. I prefer "blast it" or "drat", as they are better used."  
  
T: "Do you have any enemies at all?"  
  
S: "Sure, works with the territory."  
  
T: "If so, what is usually your procedure dealing with them?"  
  
S: "Oh, just the usual blast of chaos on their hides. Or maybe some spying."  
  
T: "Who do you think is better in fanfics, me or Talon?"  
  
S: "You, I guess. I mean, you seem to have good speaking skills in your fics. That's why you're the supreme leader."  
  
T: "Oh really, so what fanfic of mine do you like?  
  
S: RealLife Authors, definitely makes me laugh a lot.  
  
T: "Fried or Crispy?"  
  
S: "I'd say Crispy, easier to chew."  
  
T: "Will you now state your allegiance to T2M as well as any faction inside T2M at this time?  
  
S:"I do state it proudly, and I will offer my services to the Knights of Motoko, serving true and proud to the bitter end."  
  
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Tori turned the set off, and glared at SH some more. SH is at the moment scratching a bruise on his thigh, unaware of the incident. "Finally we go to the drinking contest, which I may add is partially inappropriate in some cases. So I won't show it."  
  
"Why? Did I do something wrong?" SH asked, worried that already he offended people.  
  
"No, Mitsune kinda knocked you senseless with a tea pot, then attempted to take your clothes off. You seemed to be unaffected by the sake served."  
  
"That was sake? It tasted like grape juice mixed with lemonade, with a pinch of cherry when I sipped it." SH answered honestly, as he couldn't remember everything that night with Mitsune.  
  
"Once again, your ignorance of reality bothers me. Anyways, she seemed to be in her semi-drunk mode, and started to kiss you when you were unconscious, taking off her shirt in the process.  
  
"She did? Man, I miss out on everything." SH said, upset that he was out for the count.  
  
"Don't be. She was putting her tongue in your mouth."  
  
"Ewwww, no wonder why my breath stinks."  
  
"No wonder indeed. She also attempted to nuzzle with you, in which you suddenly spanked her butt when touching your chest. She groaned happily from it, then began to treat you like a sex toy."  
  
"Reflex, pure reflex. Honest!" SH protested.  
  
"Suuuuure. Finally, she took off your shirt and you started to shiver like mad, then one of your legs shot out and got tangled in her hair." Tori said, disgusted.  
  
"Wow." SH said, without a hint of enjoying it.  
  
"Not exactly the best way to describe it, as it took 4 hours to fully untangle the strands from your smelly foot. Have you ever heard of soap?"  
  
"Yeah, but putting on my feet does have a odd factor to it." SH said, curious.  
  
"(sigh), anyways you drank more sake than her, approximately 26 drinks in 4 minutes, then went off into a daze. That's when she hit you"  
  
"Okay, but what's with the hickey?" SH said, pointing the fist-shaped dent on his neck.  
  
"That's not a hickey, it's a bruise Naru gave you after we got you untangled. Which explains the cast on your left arm."  
  
"Oh. Drat!" SH cursed, waving the cast up and down (chibi-mode, of course).  
  
"Anyways, I'll send over your progress to the big boss himself. I don't know if I'll see you again, and I don't care. And-PERVERT!" Tori yelled, THWAPing him with a mallet. It seemed SH accidentally put his hand on her leg awhile reaching out for popcorn.  
  
"SOOORRRRRRRRRYYYY!" He screamed, as he was launched into the air with a PING!  
  
(Lousy ending I'm sure, but Taro said he liked it so I posted it up for you guys. Now I'll wallow in self-misery for several hours about my "loser" life) 


End file.
